I scoured the world of FACEBOOK (aka the planet’s alternate reality) and found the BEST Facebook Status Updates of the week (Oct 17-Oct 23, 2009) . Check it out below…is one of these statuses yours???
1. (Name) lost custody of my kids today :( On a positive note, I am free this weekend. Who wants to go clubbing?? Holler at your girl!
2. (Name) thought it was swine flu, but it turned out to be just gas.
3. (Name) just bought a house!!!! For my dog. Suckas!
4. (Name) was just involved in a drive-by! Damn Rose at the front desk had Taco Bell for lunch and then dropped a moving bomb while walking past my cube.
5. (Name) is getting married today…to my second cousin…don’t judge me. PS. We are registered at Bed, Bath and Beyond.
6. (Name) curled my hair, applied my lip gloss, put on a low-cut top, straddled my couch, grabbed my cordless telephone and called Live Links tonight. Can you believe all the guys on there are unemployed perverts with hairy palms. How will I ever find love?!?
7. (Name) is leaving for Alaska in two weeks! I’m so excited! I’ve never been out of the country before.
8. (Name) got cut off and kicked out of the bar last night. It was sooooooooo stupid. Just a big misunderstanding. I didn’t see the other women in the stall of the ladies restroom when I sat down and peed on her. People get mad so easily these days!! And I ONLY puked a little on the dance floor cuz all I ate yesterday was tootsie pops and dill pickle chips.
9. (Name) just bought my Halloween costume and it’s so HAWT! I’m going to be a sexy marine biologist.
So there you have it. This week’s best FACEBOOK status updates…according to me. If you don’t agree. Leave me a comment and send me yours.
PALE GURL OUT!
This is my dog. We are refinancing our house to make his house better than yours.