If you’re on Facebook, there’s a good chance that many of your “friends” hide your activity and status updates in their news feeds. Here are some reasons why you may be hidden.You
- You often post pictures of your 9-month-old daughter participating in full glitz beauty pageants. Your friends are probably just jealous that they can’t afford to get their infant daughters hair extensions, spray-tans and a flipper. Some people will just never understand that good mothers put make-up and bikinis on their babies and then throw them up on a stage and ask that their beauty be judged by strangers. A dolla make me holla, Honey Boo Boo Child!
- You update your status about running A LOT, but never enough to be away from Facebook for too long.
- You brag about eating cat grass and how it has improved your digestive system.
- You change your Facebook name every month. I’m sorry, but your friends don’t know anybody named Hello Death Kitty
- You post pictures of your lunch. Every. Single. Day.
- You post comedy videos and ask your friends to watch them. Tres Lame.
- You spam your friends with self promotion messages and then your computer illiterate friends REPLY ALL to the 300 people on the message. Believe me, no one cares that Catrina Whatsherface can’t make it to your Polynesian BBQ because her husband can’t be trusted to be left alone with their offspring. AFter that 6th DUI, she finally questioned his responsibility.
- You’re just a jerk-face dingleberry who they work will or you both have mutual friends so they felt obligated to accept your friend request so it’s not weird when they see you in person.
- You post status updates like, “People receiving welfare should have to randomly submit to anal probing and be required to wear a Member’s Only jacket that reads on the back, “Poor & Smelly.”
- You post status updates that state, “Life begins 3 years, 6 months, 8 days and 2 hours before conception and if it happens to fall on a Tuesday, you’re a whore.”
This chick claims to have visited every city in the United States via her FB posts.
Well we all know her, so we know that’s not true, but rather one of her daily FaceBRAGS. However, here are some places she has been to:
The Lisa Frank factory (at the age of 29)
Forbearance (A wonderful online land where people who can’t pay their student loans go)
Paducah, Kentucky (A mystical land where dental hygiene is a myth. And gas stations and a churches line the streets)
Therapy (I have a BFF whom I pay to listen and agree with me. It’s only a $25 copay)