What your Halloween costume says about YOU!

Halloween costumes are like cameras into the soul. They allow us to see the real you. Please read and share with your  friends before you go out this Halloween.

Below are just a few examples of what your Halloween costume says about you.



This costume says:

  • I haven’t worn a bra in 17 years.
  • I read A LOT of self-help books and they’re not helping.
  •  I always smell like Rosemary.


This costume says:

  • I was an art major and Halloween is the only time it has paid off.
  • I’m living off credit cards and Adderall.


This costume says:

  • I regularly bang dudes I claim to hate. Like guys who play fantasy football and read Maxim.
  • I only listen to  really cool “underground” bands that you’ve probably never heard of, but if you happen  to have heard of them, I’ll tell you they’ve “sold-out.”
  • The best concert I ever went to was a 3 Doors Down concert in 1998, but if you tell anyone I’ll cut your face off.
  • I only drink imported beer and I weigh myself 17 times a day.


These costumes say:

  • Our moms have custody of our kids.
  • We sleep soundly at night knowing that we’re only contagious a few times a year  during our outbreaks.
  • Without Rumplemintz, we’d all be virgins.
  • We are the reason they have to disinfect tanning beds.


This costume says:

  • I live in a studio apartment with two roommates.
  • I eat a lot of yogurt.
  • I fantasize about my sister’s boobs


This costume says:

  • Our costumes are  ironic since our genitals haven’t touched in 8 months.
  • We’re cheating on each other.
  • Our “love” has sucked our brains dry of any creativity or concern for how we appear.
  • Our relationship works  because we share a pill addiction.


This costume says:

  • I was that guy in high school who laughed at my own jokes and had an imaginary girlfriend who no one ever met because she went to another school.
  • I was in a fraternity. Friends are expensive.
  • I think turtlenecks and corduroys are amazing.
  • My mom once caught me giving a hickey to our miniature dachshund, Pearl.


This costume says:

  • I’m that guy from work who never talks and who you assume is a nice guy. However, take me out to happy hour and I turn into a Chatty Collin. I’ll tell you all about how I hate a woman with an opinion, how I think universal healthcare promotes homosexuality and how I built a bomb shelter that I plan to live in when the Mexicans take over the United States in 2014.


This costume says:

  • I’m a closet eater.
  • I’d rather live vicariously through episodes of Felicity than have actual friends.
  • I make jokes to hide the acne scars



This costume says:

  • I used to have a stuttering problem.
  • My car won’t be paid off for another 9 years.
  • I wear “hip” glasses so that I don’t have to lose weight.
  • My cats have cats.

Happy Halloweener!

3 thoughts on “What your Halloween costume says about YOU!

  1. hey can you introduce me to #3?
    #11 needs more cats..

  2. Will do! Let’s make a love connection.

    1. youre 3 and 2 half years late on this according to my math. ive gone done a much darker path since then! thanks tho, luv ya!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close