OMG! My boss just Facebook friend requested me!

Now that everyone is on social networking sites, there may come a time when you received a dreaded friend request from your boss. I know it sounds horrible, but there’s a good chance this will eventually happen to you. And once management invades your social-networking world, it will never be the same again. So why do bosses like to friend request their employees you ask? Well here’s your answer:

 Some bosses may do this because

(a) He or she is trying to prove that they are not out of touch micro-managing douche bags who sleep with Bluetooths in their ears and whose idea of fun is answering work emails on their crackberries until 11 pm. However, we all know that he or she is really just trying to spy on you and monitor your FaceTIME at work.


(b)  Maybe he or she is actually a cool person who appreciates social-networking as much as you do. What a novel idea!

However, chances are your situation falls into category A, which statistics (coming directly from my head) have proven. In fact, according to me, 98.9 percent of working people have managers/bosses that fall into category A.  

So here are some suggestions of what you can do when you receive that dreaded MANAGER Facebook Friend Request.

1. CLOSE YOUR ACCOUNT IMMEDIATELY! Give it up. You’ve been found and called out and there is no need to play this game any longer. If you can’t live without social-networking, find a down-low social networking site where you can sign up for an account, invite all your non boss friends and hide out. Chances are most managers are only privy to the big sites like Facebook and Myspace (aka the world of  Spammy Pervs).  When your boss asks you why your account disappeared, blame it on a stalker or explain that you’ve outgrown it because the people on there are  “so immature.” However, the best and most interesting excuse is the claim someone must have started up a fake account in your name. This excuse will make you seem interesting and stalkable, which will frighten management and quite possibly get you some extra days off to deal with all the emotional distress that this fake Facebook account has caused.

2. Accept them and then immediately edit your privacy settings. Block your manager from seeing all of your photos, status updates, comments, groups, applications, personal info, notes, posted items, and videos. Let them see only your profile picture, name, birthdate, and hometown. This is the safest way to prevent your manager from seeing personal info about you that you definitely don’t want them to see. Like how you resort to barsexuality on the weekends and frequently share with your online friends how much you despise your job and enjoying slashing your manager’s tires every chance you get.

3. QUIT! Grab your personal items, dignity and walk out. Some jobs aren’t worth you losing your FaceFREEDOM. Yes, the economy may be bad right now, but there’s always those great work from home opportunities that they advertise online. Stuffing envelopes and telling two friends, so that they can tell two friends, who will then tell two more friends and so on and so on and so on – sounds fun!

And there you have. Another FaceDISASTER has been averted.

Thank you. Thank you very much!

joleen lunzer

Oh that darn Satan. Always messing with our lady business.

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