Did your Facebook Status make the BEST OF list!?!

I scoured the world of FACEBOOK (aka the planet’s alternate reality) and found the BEST Facebook Status Updates of the week thus far. I will try to do this weekly unless of course my laziness kicks in or I am hanging out with my BFFs (aka my 30 Rock, Felicity and Buffy the Vampire Slayer DVDs).


1. Iz sicke of dum peple. Leve me the fock illone.

2. The Toy Story double feature was too long. All my kids crapped their pants.

3. Would like to thank the Lord for making me so fine, fabulous, stylish, intelligent, kind, courteous, hawt and humble.

4. Thinks everyone sucks. Quit being so judgmental. It’s not your place to do so, losers!

5. Just fit 245 paperclips in my nose. A new office record!

6. My wife’s breath smells like another man.

7. Enjoys calling people to tell them that I am about to send them an email.

8. Is pretty confident that I would DESTROY anyone in a WORST Uncle (through marriage) EVER contest. Challenge me. I dare you! He ROTS!

9. How come none of you lame asses ever leave me wall posts,  comment on my status updates or photos that I post?? Are you too busy with your pathetic lives to be friendly to me. Or are you intimidated by me and don’t feel worthy enough to associate with me.  I don’t understand why I never have any friends! Ugh! I deserve better than you idiots! On a side note…I am moving this weekend and if anyone can help, let me know ASAP!

10. Check me out on the peopleofWalmart website – http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/ I’m famous!

11. Just saw something that made me vomit…literally. I’m so disgusted and sick right now. Ick! Gross! Worst visual EVER. Will post pics soon.

 And there you have it. Feel free to send me any of the BEST Facebook Status Updates that you find.

hello kitty

His Facebook status says:

 “Daniel Olson just got tickets to the Miley Cyrus concert. She’s hot!”

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