I know this is a rather disgusting topic to discuss, but I just have to throw it out to the blogosphere to see if anyone knows which woman in my office has been dumping and running? It never fails that every time I enter a restroom stall at work, I find something left behind by the stall’s previous inhabitant. So here is a little note I’ve written to the woman in my office who can’t seem to remember to flush her deuces. I hope she will read this and see the error of her ways. Or if any of you know who she is please feel free to rat her out. Thanks.
Dear Irresponsible Dumper,
I realize you are probably a very busy woman and may sometimes feel as though there aren’t enough hours in the day. Believe me, many women and men feel that same way; however, that is no excuse for your blatant disrespect of our public restroom at work. It only takes a few seconds to turn around and make sure that all of your “business” has been flushed. I really don’t appreciate walking in and seeing your poo. You may be proud of your regular bowels and that is fine, but that doesn’t mean you need to share it with the rest of the office. Maybe you’re thrilled that Fiber One has finally made you a regular gal. You may even become so excited that after dropping a deuce, you run out of the bathroom do some kind of shit dance, but please save it for your bathroom at home. In this office we live by one modo – IF IT’S BROWN (or any other color really) FLUSH IT DOWN! I’m warning you now, if you continue this negligent bathroom behavior, the Poop Gods will come into your bedroom at night and poor dirty toilet water into your mouth. I know it seems harsh, but I didn’t make the rules, the Poop Gods did and I try not to mess with anyone who has such doo doo power.