His profile pic says:

I’m too old for Facebook.

I’m just here to perv-out.

I’m lost. Can someone direct me to classmates.com

His profile pic says:

I’ve been to jail.

I sleep on a couch.

I don’t want to learn how to spell my name.

Her profile pic says:

Who doesn’t want to look at a giant picture of my face.

I like me more than I like my friends.

I’m good at softball.

Her profile pic says:

I’m not just slutty on Halloween.

I’m no stranger to DUI’s.

I only hook up with guys in relationships.

His profile pic says:

I have dry scalp.

I don’t wear underwear.

I put my penis in lots of inanimate objects.

His profile pic says:

I regularly tell people: “I used to like that band when they were cool. But now they’re too mainstream.”

I like to go camping by myself and cry.

I never clean my ears.

His profile pic says:

Fantasy football is my life.

I still drink juice boxes.

I woke up in the toilet.

Her profile pic says:

I commonly use your and you’re incorrectly in sentences.

I have a barbed wire tattoo on my ankle

My kids are good at being left at home alone.

Their profile pic says:

We had our first child in 6th grade.

Our parents are related.

We’re pretty sure who the father is.

His profile pic says:

If only she wasn’t my sister.

I’d rather be playing the trumpet.

Ugh! I told my mom I wanted Justin Bieber for my birthday.

Her profile pic says:

I spend all my money on vodka, saline, low-lights and acrylics.

This is what I do when my boyfriend is in jail.

Watching the news is so boring.

Her profile pic says:

I’ve seen New Moon 56 times.

I drive a KIA.

I Skype with Strangers.